Microaggressions

angel brown

@_akbrown

with compassion

Handling 

microaggressions

"brief, everyday exchanges that send denigrating messages to certain individuals because of their group membership"

Derald Wing Sue

Psychologist at Columbia University

Offender

A person who has intentionally or unintentionally committed a microaggressive act. 

Target Person

A person who has (knowingly or not) been the target of a microaggressive act.

victim

• ​exclude, negate, dismiss feelings/experience

• eg: "you're just playing the race card/whining about nothing, etc'

microassaults

microinsults

microinvalidations

• Purposeful Discrimination 

• EG: Name Calling

• SUBTLE, DEMEANING CHARACTERIZATION OF GROUP, POSSIBLY UNINTENTIONAL

• EG: "WOW, A GIRL THAT KNOWS ASSEMBLY?!"

so who has to put up with this crap?

• People of Color

• People with Disabilities

• People who identify as LGBTQ

• People who Identify as Women

• People with Mental Illness

• ...more

Why microaggressions suck so much

• Target may be upset and not know why

• Vagueness 

  • "did they assume i'm a newb? or did someone tell them?"

  • "Am I just too sensitive?"

  • Difficult to defend oneself

  • Plausible deniability/Unawareness

• Harder to handle than blatant discrimination

Gender microaggressions in tech...

• "Are you a dev?" (at a conf.)

• "Is your boyfriend a dev?"

• "Are you a front-end dev?"

• "So easy my mom could do it"

• Assuming random dev is male

• Assumption of incompetence

• Assumption of newbness

• Giving women "woman" tasks

• Talking over women

• Trusting male dev opinion more

airport terminal after conf...

Female Developer:

"Hey I noticed your Ruby sticker. Were you at Railsconf?"

Male Developer:

"Yeah, I really dug the keynote."

"Um.. Yeah, cool.

"Yeah, you too?"

"Totally! The part about distributed monadic functilators was way cool."

".... So do you mostly work on the front-end?"

in a professional situation...

Less experienced female dev: 

More experience male dev:

"I think we should use this other programming language for the new project."

"You just want to use that language because that's what your boyfriend uses."

In both situations...

• Did that have anything to do with me being female, or is it just because I'm inexperienced/not good at this?

• Did the person mean to say that?

• Did they intend to offend me?

• Do they even realize they did?

• Should I even be offended?

• Am I overreacting?

So...What's a Target to Do?

what is Compassion?

empathic recognition of 

and desire to reduce

Suffering

in oneself or others

how to act with compassion

• Intend no harm

• Be Honest, Authentic

• Have respect for self and others

• Be nice

Self

Community

Offender

compassion for whom?

I don't

• Deny my feelings

• Feel bad about my reaction

• Focus attention on offender

i do

• Address my needs ASAP

• Separate from past events

• Consider impact vs. intent

self

• Other community members not responsible

• Response affects the community

• No obligation or responsibility

• No justification required

Community

• I cannt change this person

• Separate person from incident

• Also victim of culture of -ism

offender

Take a second...

• Don't have to respond immediately

• Ask for clarification

• Consider circumstances

possible actions

• Address the incident publicly

• Address the incident privately

• Report incident to boss/authority

• Take no outward action

publicly

• Maximum community impact

• Support of community

• Could embarrass offender

• Could start a war

Privately

• No direct community involvement

• Avoid embarrassment for offender

• No support from community

report

• Greater safety

• Consequences for offender

• Relationship with offender?

No action

• dismissing/denying feelings?

• No threat of retaliation

• Open to future occurrences

Every Situation is Different

Goals in my Response

• Be authentic, honest

• Be clear

• Respect the other person's autonomy

• Let go of temptation to control response

Take Care

of Yourself

Let Others

Do the Same

References & Acknowledgements

1. http://www.unh.edu/sites/www.unh.edu/files/departments/affirmative_action_and_equity_office/unh-advance_microaggressions_v3-a.pdf

2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/microaggressions-in-everyday-life/201102/how-does-oppression-microaggressions-affect

3. Cute oxygen mask pic: http://www.freshstitches.com/what-i-learned-about-well-being-from-an-airplane-trip/

4. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/microaggressions-in-everyday-life

Resources & Further Info